BumpadabumpBah!

yes i am bugleing like a motherfucker...

i feel down, unsure maybe a better term for it. /shrug. ever get the feeling like you have no idea what you wanna do with your life, but the way you envision it isnt working the way it should. or not traveling down the path that you would like. thats been my past two weeks.

but tomorrow i get to go pick up tickets with ben and stu for dragon con...also booze for dragon con. i would also like to get caffeine pills in addition to the caffeine mints that i found. im not gonna sleep and also get so dru~nk!

(as an aside, what would happen if i were to not sleep and then get fucked up and sustain that fucked upness? check back on tuesday for details!)

drinking problems away is bad. also smoking. whatever you do, dont smoke! no matter how drunk you get you fat bastard...

z out

Fun Fun

walking back into noso with a bag of books and booze past my ra...

ra: whatcha got there?

z:a bag o books!

(ra eyes bag closely)

ra: and...?

z: a bag o beer!

ra: are you 21?

z: ...yes...?

(z walks away)

hilarimous!

z out

MMM Soup...

whod like a big bowl of nightmare to heap over their sleep? no?

how about a little vomit to start their day off right? no? no dash of vomit?

ugh this is getting to be a pain in the ass...

z out

Dunno

i feel like shit. i feel really down about everything.

i caught myself today acting like "old-zack". i hate that bastard. hes just an alcoholic, "jolly", fat bastard. i catch myself sometimes slipping into old zack mode, when i meet new people, when i see people i dont know very well, when im with people i do know but am pissed off, i relapse into the person i was...

that person was just a facade really. i didnt like who i was, still dont, but am trying to learn to like who i am. i just end up hiding it and being unhappy with myself or those around me, who treat me a certain way, until i feel the urge to get away from them. no more.

im gonna try and act like the person i feel like, whether i like it or not, but if i seem to be acting wierdly this is the reason. dont be offended, but this is who i am, no bullshit mask or anything.

if i do regress, then im probably feeling down. or pissed off.

sorry.

z out

Movin'

i got moved in.

also saw snakes on a plane with stu and ben.

for some reason, belly-sama hates me.


i also have a theory in which target has special devices that suck the life energy out of a person, thus making them extremely irritable and just complacent with buying anything.

interested in what the night holds...

songs stuck in my head:
u2- "all i want is you"
soad- "soldier side"
qotsa- "first it giveth"

z out

Arty Arty Art-Art

You scored as William Blake. You are an alienated but highly prolific genius. There are many people you hate but it doesn't matter, they cannot hurt you, as you are safe in your protected dreamworld. William Blake 90% Cecily Brown 85% Piet Mondrian 75% Artemisia Gentilleschi 70% Willem DeKooning 70% Vincent Van Gogh 65% R. Crumb 60% Bob Ross 50% What artist are you? created with QuizFarm.com

z out

Explosion

thanks everyone for the condolences...been feeling really down recently and this was just the icing...but i figure theres nowhere to go but up from now on...

in the mean time check this shit out...explosion by some dude...




z out

Mike Johnson

my favorite teacher ever, my tenth grade ap european history teacher, mike johnson died this morning at home. apparently he had been fighting a rare blood cancer. funerals probably gonna be on thursday or friday. i just heard about it a few minutes ago myself...mom got an email from one of her teacher friends at the old school.

i hate that cos he was the teacher that completely turned around my attitude toward school, made me enjoy learning and realise that acting like a kid would only get you so far. he made me realise how great it was to embrace knowledge, rather than act like it was something that you had to be doing.

he also got me into jazz...he was a jazz piano player in the fifties and sixties...he used to tell stories about playing with bb king in the peabody hotel in chicago, playing with miles davis in a recording session, all these great stories.

now hes dead.

ci'e la vie.

z out

Meh

so feeling very blah...

i feel like a clown that has all his balloons taken awy and/or popped...

tired, head hurts, feeling very depressed and also stressed about school.

i cant find schedule. i also dont know if the business office is open on sunday. i also need schedule to get books on sunday cos parents be putting it on credit card as i have no money this semester. also dont know how i will be able to fit in job in a schedule like my school schedule and also play drums for the play. maybe there wont be very many practices, just long ass practices every few weeks for the musicians.

i also need a car...

z out

Fuck You Laura, PCs Are T3h Suck...

this shit is hilarimous.

macs are t3h win.


z out

Fuck

already ive gotten into a fight with family. i fucking hate everything now.

when i get home, my drumset is slightly different. i can feel it, but i wait until today to look at it. when i do the sticks are not where they should be, the earplugs flung in the floor, as if hit by someone, roughly. after setting them back i ask my bro who has been playing them. he says brandon, someone i do not under any circumstances want on my instrument, then he says no some little kid, but mom said it was okay.

i go and ask my mom: (verbatim)

"did you let some little kid play my drums?"


she says no. j reminds her, and she says well hes in eight grade hes not a little kid. i ask if hes a drummer, she says she doesnt know. then she goes into living room and rouses my dad by blowing it out of proportion (yelling and such). we go into music room.

we then have arguement over the right and wrong of people, when im not there, whom i dont know, who arent drummers, playing my kit.

then it comes out.

my mom says, "im sorry that while you were out of town we had people over and their child played your drums."

she feels put on the defensive because i asked a fucking question. she says my tone made her feel like she was supposed to cower.

I ASKED A FUCKING QUESTION!

she then storms out of the house and my dad talks with me. she doesnt know why i feel like this cos she doesnt have a musical instrument, hell she cant even play a musical instrument.

fuck.

then to get a nice day i have to apologize to her about putting her on the defensive...

then again maybe i am too overprotective of my instruments...

however...all of my gear is not made anymore...

the green alvarez aco/electric guitar is one of the last five they ever made, meaning they made 1500 period in that color. my electric gibson les paul in faded yellow is not made anymore...only the sg model is, which isnt even the same guitar. my yamaha dp select drums are not made anymore. my 1978 ludwig vistalite acrylic drums are not made anymore. the only instrument i have that doesnt bother me when people play it is the electric drumset, and they make those still.

is it too overprotective to worry about vintage instruments that you own?

z out, and in a pissy mood.

Sadness and Pain

feel lonely. tired. hongry.

also sunburned. i cant even raise my arm level with my head and neck. suxxors.

but i dont regret how i got the sunburn...in fact i quite enjoyed it. staying the advance of a hairy balding sea monster was fun...

bed now i think. maybe not tho...

z out

#195

so florida seems pretty cool. well actually pretty hot. and flat. otherwise not too bad...

i get to see Miami Vice on friday! ye~ah!

i wanna see it, tho it will be bad, because i used to watch the show (reruns at least) all the time when i was a kid. seeing it again on the big screen and albeit with different actors will be something else, but mainly i just wanna relive childhood type things with girlfriend.

also colin farrell is kinda cool, as well as jamie foxx....

z out

Several Things

britty found diet double fudge chocolate soda a few days ago. maybe yesterday. some weird things about it:

- to a point, it gets fizzier and more carbonated the longer it sits in the open. in other words it tastes flat until you leave it be for a while then it gets fizzy. then it dies again.
- you cannot taste anything when drinking it. just that liquid feeling. you can smell the chocolate but anything else and youve better senses than i...

after watching britty shaky fist of doom at a driver today, also min own observances in a-town, it also be mine theory that florida drivers dont have to pass as rigorous a driving test when they get their license. also they hand people their license rather than making them fail a couple times first, just for plausible deniability when a sixteen year old wraps his car around a tree.

saw lady in the water. *shrug* wasnt the best...

also "falling in love (is so hard on the knees)" keeps playing in my head. i keep wanting to add "...and elbows" to the title...

steak and shake was eaten by me for the first time. twas excellent. could feel badness enter mine veins. i missed that feeling...of greasygrease in me...

also i was just compared to raoul duke...sugokufuckingawesome...

i intend to write more as well. ive set up a site to do it in. "Punchings of a Closed Fist"...or closed fist technique...i forget...its in my links page tho...

mmm sleep...

z out

The God of Small Things

im reading this book by arundhati roy and it is fucking amazing. i like the descriptions and the movement of the narratives involved with the different characters. it makes me wanna get back to writing obscene amounts of verbal wankery. should be good.

also showed britty ourtunes. she obtained about a thousand songs in the span of liketen to fifteen minutes...sugoi

florida is cool. im looking forward to seeing what i can get into while britty is at work as i wont have a key to get back into the building, let alone the room while hes gone. it may prompt me to writ or be an asshole. we ll see what happens first...

z out