/sigh...

i wish i could solve my problems with booze...

also cloves...

lots of shit with family just pisses me the fuck off...
i am definitely not living here next summer. ill do what it takes to have an apartment next summer in atl.

everything around me just sucks...i am unhappy...im cut off from friends...i miss my girlfriend...nothing has happened this summer the way i thought it would...

i need a car...

i am in a constant state of being wound up, being paranoid, lonely, whathaveyou...my family just annoys me...

for instance, when taryn and stu visited, which was awesome, the one brighter point this past couple of weeks, that has been the high point for these past two weeks...it was so good to see friends from out of town...

it seems nothing is done right (by me at least), as if im some fuckup, good for nothing but draining the income, not contributing anything...

i wish i could just get myself interested in something again, writing, photography, music, it doesnt matter...anything...hell ill even take drinking and smoking over this slump...

im so angry all the time...i feel pissed off and on the verge of a shutdown...also depressed and paranoid...this place is driving me insane and i mean that in the most serious way possible...

isnt it always interesting when your parents think they know what you should do better than you do? lifeplans and such especially...

z out