Normality

i wish that my family were more normal than they are. maybe its normal for people to be in a constant state of argument and struggle...

bro fights with dad, dad fights with bro, mom fights with dad on bros account (all the fucking time), mom fights with me, dad fights with me, mom fights with bro, dad fights with mom on my account (all the fucking time), bro fights with me.

on top of all this, other random shits occur that spark fights, that could easily be avoided, and when they do explode into arguments, people involved are made to feel like shit because of it.

in other news i cant wait until wednesday.

why has it gotta be a fucking struggle with everything now that schools out, im in a relative state of happiness, and everything (other than family fighting so goddamn much) everything is peachy? is it too much to ask that people, family and other random on-lookers back the fuck up and let me take a deep breath of the happiness that i thought was all around but apparently is not?

also, why is it my fault if someone decides to not do something?

a better question: why is it my fault if they DO decide to do something?

fuck. it makes me wanna drink and smoke and hedonise out of sheer frustruation with the state of events surrounding me.

speaking of smoking, my friends back in town after long last. i wonder how new orleans was? or if he reads this blog? if so call me...we should get together and do the dance of cigars...

why is everything recently a pain in my ass? irritations abound most recently, and i feel rubbed very raw...maybe its just me and the whole feeling sorry for myself thing that i tend to do when seperated from friends and cant drink or smoke.

i cant wait for everything to be back to normal.

z out