I Am Wound So Tight

i feel like i am going to explode. it could be any number of things; sexual tension, sexual frustruation, my recent discovery that i may be an alcoholic...the list goes on.

i realise that i am only totally removed from these things when i play music, which will happen more and more next semester here in atl. i can focus on nothing but playing the music when i am in the moment; even afterwards, i normally criticise myself to the point of not wanting to play again, then i am reassured when people come and "ooo" and "ahh" over things that i did. thats the one thing that i love doing and i am not even confident in it; just when i play, then it doesnt matter.

also i have other things to write on, but tomorrow is the time for that. also i feel like shit. also, ben said that he doesnt feel like walking...a first in my year and a half knowing him. he also really became shoeless today, when he misplaced his shoes. mmm. i also got back the soco from tareq and seperated my part from ben's part (50/50), and want to see how long i can go with it just sitting in my fridge. im guessing not long, but we ll see.
z out