If You Want A Way Out...

yeah so i have decided that it would definitely be a bad idea for me to try cocaine, meth, ice or any form of speed or methamphetamine. i dont like feeling like im tired, cos when im awake, i like to be awake and doing something. in fact i hate the feeling of going to sleep, the part between waking conscious and sleep. therefore, if i get started on something that keeps me up for large portions of the day and lets me put off sleep, i would get addicted faster than i would get addicted to, say for instance, heroin. not that ive ever tried either, but heroin doesnt hold a great deal of fascination with me, while something that would keep me awake does. i would like to experiment with everything, but im too much of a pussy for that kind of shit. maybe its just the kind of thing that i spend too much time thinking about, but i often worry about becoming a fucking alcoholic or something. i realised that i am not addicted to other things, like turning tareq down when offered stuff, but i do not and cannot seem to ever turn down free liquor when its available. i mean i cant even really turn down free beer when im with people that im comfortable with and maybe eating something that goes well with the beer in question. its just a thing that tugs at me in the back of my mind whenever i drink or anything and i just purge it from my consciousness when im with people, cos how fucking rude is that to turn down something that someone is giving you? but how dangerous is that to accept from them at the same time?
z out