Well...

ive gotten past the initial jabs of what i was feeling, putting me in a relative "who gives a fuck" mood that could be called despondance or maybe the "doldrums". im still not eating or sleeping as i should, but i ll get over it. im just getting tired of shit going down despite things i try, and still getting burned in the meantime, but whatever. stu, i think maybe youre right, as far as the conversation we had, ive been feeling generally that same type of "what does it all mean" type bullshit that normally only philosophy students go through. maybe more people need those fucking antidepressants or whatever. im not saying i need antidepressants, but this doldrums bullshit needs to stop. this blog is quickly becoming more and more emo, but i think thats what the blogs are set up for: to be a faceless set of emotions that we cant be in real life. i mean, there are two maybe three people i would talk this way to in person, but on the internet, i can be whoever i want and change that based on where i am (by the way, anyone that likes built motherfuckers with blonde hair and blues eyes should contact me immediately. also 12" cocks, cos its all me...).
i mean last night, geeze cheered me up, taking my mind off things, asking questions when necessary, but not pushing at all to make me talk, and thats what i needed i think. also watching a movie, and making concert plans. by the way, lord of war is a kickass movie, despite constantly hitting you over the head with how horrible gunrunning is. im not sure if they grasped the fact that its hard to tell someone that gunrunning is bad, when the gunrunner marries a supermodel, lives in a twenty-five million dollar manhattan apartment with a view of centrel park, gets pure uncut unstepped on peruvian blow (six kilos of it) and randomly fucks hot women. yes he does become a more reprehensible character, but...he talks his way out of it and basically does whatever the fuck he wants.
also i have two tickets to see nine inch nails. how fucking awesome-o is that? awesome.
ohe yeah...are the dates and times and other shit if anyone wants to go to any of these concerts.
1. sat 10/15 Masquerade GWAR 7.00pm $17.50
2. sat 10/22 Variety Playhouse Buckethead 9.00pm $15.00
3. thu 10/27 Philips Arena NIN 7.30pm $40-45
4. wed 11/02 Masquerade HIM 8.00pm $23
5. fri 11/04 Masquerade CKY 7.00pm $15.00
anyone wanna go to see HIM with me? geeze doesnt wanna go cos hes scared of goths. i think theres nothing wrong with goth-rock, and it could be fun. besides if anyone fucks with you, then you can just whip out a mag-lite and...click it on, cos they burn easily! hahaha. no i really like goth things, i just dont have the constant attitude necessary to carry it out. i flit around emotionally and just have random bouts of whatever. anyway, we can like carpool or take marta or whatever. besides i really like HIM because sometimes i really feel what the lyrics are, not that im suicidal, but it would be cool to see what a razorblade kiss is like. its up there on my list of wierd sexual things to do with being tied up. but whatever.
im running out of good things to talk about. im trying to make up for the seriousness of the last post, at least to me, and not focus on fucked up stuff. also, i cant fucking wait to see serenity, or as i envision it, jane fucking shit up with a vera and killing mal. also jane going back to jane's town, cos its awesome. well thats it i guess...
z out